Apparently respect is looked down upon these days. It personally just makes me fucking sick, and there is no way around that! I 'am just at a tangle when I see some really legit individuals just mess with peoples heads and use them at their expense because they either ignore their bad habits, or they crack down because everyone tells them to do it to prove their territory to be "down"! No one is perfect, that is for sure, but I'am not painting on a black canvas with tar when I say that more people need to stand up and say something when they see their friends degrating themselves and others.
I 'am way amped on what I stand for. I like to think that I do what I can for the better of this world with how I present myself through my personality, my diet, my motivation, my ideas, my morals, and my honest/ to the point ethic. Yet sometimes I feel that the finger is pointed at me for giving a shit. What I'am getting at is that I quite honestly feel very divided from the hardcore sub-culture right now. It seems that it's "not cool" to stand for something, or to have a good sense of what is right and what is wrong. This does not go for everyone , I can't stress that enough, but, somewhere down the line, it seems like you will be glamorized nowadays for being a "scumbag".
2008 has been the first time in my life where I feel like I don't belong in the hardcore community. And it's fucked up because I got caught up in all of this in order to make myself a well traited human being that had creativity, diversity, intellegence, and respect for his fellow peers. Not to mention to better the ones around me. I know that many movements, communites, organizations, and such have hypocrites, spoliers, and chumps involved no matter what, but it just seemed like that disrespect was very frowned upon one time in the hardcore community, and I feel like that it just slides by in a breeze now.
Now, I still love hardcore. I can't even start a rant on praising the bands and people that I'am so stoked on. But it is what it is, and right now I feel fucking alienated that I don't want to have the attitude of a rockstar. On tour, I do not shift coat. I'am here for these reasons, to play music at 110% every night, wake up in a new city every morning, compare the local vegan cuisine to NYC's juggernaut cuisines, meet some new friends, catch up with old ones, and drink alot of coffee! THATS IT! Yet, I see so many bands turning Minor Threat into Motley Crue. I see a huge reliance on merch that only sells for the sake of selling, writing lyrics that will be worshiped cause they are what people want to here, and a complete disregard for the equality factor we have for each other, which leads people only wanting to be on the prowl for a one night stand, or a collection of sleep around stories.
It gets to the point where people will tag you guilty by association. And when I hear these absurd questions I'am asked about tour from people that were not raised on the respect factor, it makes me not even want to say that I'am in a band anymore when I'am asked! And it really just bumms me out, because I'am so proud of what I do, but lately I just feel criticised for my traits. I will continue to be in bands, and to be involoved with this as much as I can, but I just wanted to let this out cause something is definatly wrong, and I want to find my place again in this community. So please excuse me if I'am absent from upcoming events, or if I'am not in the spirts that I usually am.