Past Tense, Future Perfect

So I applied for this "Internet Phenomina" some months ago, but was very fickle in deciding if I wanted to rip my guts out towards the open for your viewing and cranial pleasure. But after a few cups of coffee, and a few rotations of A Tribe Called Quest's "Midnight Marauders" at the vet practice this morning , it clicked into my head that your all good for it, and that i'am equipped with a legit mind and drive, so why keep it at a hush?

So, the tail end of 2007 really made a very cold, and just unenthused mark on my character. Some may have noticed this change, some may have just continued to remain stuck into their own ass. Nothing felt the same as it did in the past for various reasons, and it was becoming very hard for me to really kickstart the day which usually commensed in "a spark of espresso" (meaning, i used to always looking foward to the day). My musical studies and motivation were feeling like a job, and thats the last thing i would ever want to happen in my life. I usually read at least a 2 books a week, but for months i was'nt even able to finish a chapter a night due to all the nonsense going thru my head. I was becoming more sleep deprived than a night owl hooked on caffiene pills. Something was obviously ammuck, and I was lost in getting my mend on!

It's still daybreak in 2008, yet somehow I have already taken many notes from the carved moments and have just " taken that expired soymilk and scammed it back to the merchant for the freshest pint of Silk Latte" (thats keithism for turning a - into a +). So many beautiful oppurtunites have opened up for me since that 120 degree night in Rosswein, Germany. My friends in Verse gave my heart a nourishing expierience over the pond! I fufilled a very respectable, solid, and energetic drum duty position for them in Germany, the U.K, Belgium, France, Italy, and Switzerland. And although every single show was a sack of 110% in the ante uppin department , it was so much more than that. I was able to expierience how individuals lived over the pond, what made them quirk, how they portrayed their mannerisms, how they all drove Volkswagens, and how their toilets cleaned themselves (or where just a hole in the ground). I also had my gig mindset "flipped to a five "(a change for the better).

Almost every night, I would be approached by a different kid who would just sit back and pour out their appreciation and passion for not just hardcore and punk, but just life in general. It's still mind blowing that kids would drive hours, maybe even a day, or even kick it "air jordan" (not the kicks, but just a petname for flying) just to be a part of what is going on in a subculture that really cares about what is goin on in the universe. And while I was mingling with all these Euro kids, I realized that there is no time to take anything for granted at all, and that I need to just recognize the current happenings, and not really lean on what the future holds all too much. I was also a but straight up embarassed, cause on that loooonnnnggg flight home, I reflected on what was "knawing at my hems" (bothering me) and I proved myself guilty of just taking alot for granted. But straight up, thats the past tense, lets move on and get fresh.

Upon my return, I still had some " itches in what could be a pressed slate "(problems in what could be a new beginning). I really took the downtime to figure everything out and kept my mechanical palate to a laxed hault. I still had alot of questions to be awnsered. Late January and alot of February seemed uneventful. I was playing out alot, but it still did'nt seem the same to me. It definatly was not an apathy issue by any means, I just didnt know if people where really achknowledging me as a productive member of the environment. Like to be real, I was just questioning my position.

For years, I have just always sacraficed a whole lot to really embrace and make move with the time I have on this asphault and green. I'am definatly not looking for a cookie for going about things that way, but it is what it is. Some people get my style, some people just shake their head and look more blank than a 50/50 solid at American Apperal. But a great way going about taking the time we have is with spreading new ideas, teaching, learning, laughing, caring, and just having the pleasure of meeting new individuals that we can share those luxuries with. Thats what always turned me towards the music I'am involved with, and getting in that van constantly. Music is kind of scary, you can really use it for the best, or use it for the worst. But anyways, I guess what I'am trying to get across is that I felt that I was not being taking seriously by others due to playing in a scattered amount of different bands. But I had another wake up call , so to speak.

I have always been fascinated with California. It's really intresting that even on your own soil thousands of miles across from your coast, things are kind of different. Verse offered me another fill in oppurtunity for a West Coast weekend with Soul Control. I took the assignment quite promptly. I went towards this venture as just a stint to play some fresh shows, eating a burrito or two, diving off some sort of furnishing for Allegiance, and maybe catch some rays (I think my pastey colored slate can vouche for that). I think I totally underestimated what I was in for. All the shows where beyond amazing. Che, Chain and Gilman were all in a state of "A-WALL"! I must've gave 220% each night. There was some "Kool Aid Manning" ( ok, this one is coined towards all the kids who fall into my drumkit. You are the kool aid man, and all my equipment falling down are the bricks. oh yeahh???) into the direction of my performance grounds, but I was letting it slide to to the fact that it was out of pure heart, and not pure stage potatoing.

But I think the thing that really took me suprise was just that fact that there are still genuine people out there that "stick to their krylons" (could be used for morals, intentions, etc). I definatly met quite a few people that really get what not only hardcore and punk is about, but just understand the position of being a legit human being. C-Tech and Chad made sure we werent the house band at the San Diego Airport and lugged our gear around hitchike style. They also lead me to the best burrito Diego can offer. I was also introduced to a very genuine individual named Sarah who went beyond the call of duty in generosity and made sure that we were safe, hungerly content, influenced towards soy chai, and just in the presence of good company and logical conversation. Sarah's intentions and friendship defintaly duffed a dent into my questioning because it just shows how brave and strong people are to show that it doesnt strain to go beyond your limits , be kind , and just thoughtful to others around you. And I admire that Sarah basically tells the "sloth end of the snake" (aka the haters) to get bent!

So where does all this kick in? Well it sets off that what I'am doing is important! So what if i'am playing with all these different bands. If anything, i'am making new moments more often and getting across what i want to. I'am going to record a fresh lp with a fresh act. I'am back to reading 2 books a week, hell I'am even digging into a fresh 3rd read about the history of the subway systems right now! I' am making sure that 9lives and k9s are eating their weaties and looking spruced for the catwalk! What matters is that i'am productive with my creativity and am not letting it stale to a "snail in a sock! " ( in other words, im not lazy!) The whole time I was just so confuzed by a status that was just a mirage due to relentless jokes that were meant to be harmless, but ended up being taking personal. Well, check it! At least I can say that I learn from my false assumptions and mistakes. I think it takes a very courageous person to admit that they are not perfect and that they trip up here and there. So thats whats up. Summer time is coming up, and I will gaurntee that I will be out on the road for the "entire stint in the sun' (summer) . With who? Well, we'll have to see. But feel this, nothing but chill times will be had, nothing but fresh jeans will be sweated out from intense staging, nothing but intellegence will be spread, and nothing but a helping hand will be in the balance!" Dig? See you all soon, and keep it fresh!

"I stand on new ground , where no body knows me, I'll begin again!" - Burn